Shattered Glass

I never thought I will say these words.

Boise sux.

No, not the city in Idaho. Yes, I mean a male child.

A string of events happened, and they confirmed something I never want to believe because it is cliché and I personally do not believe it because I believe everyone is unique and is a little snowflake.

But turns out, there’s one characteristic that makes all of them pretty much the same.

Oh my bunny I even hate myself for writing this entry but adsjfefekm (I don’t even know what to say).

BUT I still believe man child ≠ man.

Still tho all these bullshit makes me 100% sure I won’t do any dating in college and strengthens the earlier post.

Somehow this empowers me and makes me feel a teeny bit more powerful, idk why.

Presenting The Future

When I imagine my future, there’s only me.

No spouse even in my imagination. Okay not only me, but some tropical fish too (I can’t have furry pet).

I really think that I will be just with myself.

This particular thing actually concerns me, as I feel I’m way too young to accept that I won’t have any S.O. to accompany me. Not that I oppose that idea, if you think you’re best with yourself then go get it gurl!

But that’s not me.

I’m the kind of person that will benefit from affection, whose heart is just too much to keep by herself. I feel like I can unconditionally love somebody else if I were given the opportunity. My family is the easiest example. It’s true that we don’t always get along (well not really, I am a real peace-keeper), but boy I won’t ask for anything less or more. I love them unconditionally, and never even think how to piss them off.

Is this really the future I want? Or is it the easiest way for me to present my future, presently?

Oh Lord what mess did I just write.

Bangs

I got bangs. Fresh ass.

Nine out of ten people that I met said I look like a child, even more so than I already do. The other one said I look like a TV character famous for her “not-really-attractive-to-whoa-damn-you-just-took-off-your-glasses-and-braces-and-fixed-your-hair-now-you-look-pretty” transformation (whose name I won’t mention but don’t lie you already know who it is).

Turns out bangs ain’t an easy business. Although it is quite cute, dare I say it.

7.5/10 won’t have it again because I’m too much of a mess to be dealing with something so delicate.

Wholeheartedly

I cry. Like, a lot. It’s basically a daily routine. It does not necessarily happen because I feel sad, it’s the way I communicate and express what I feel.

I used to (appear to) be hard as a diamond. I won’t cry while watching sad movies. I won’t even budge.

Now, I will tear up if I feel a bit excited. I shed a tear when I see an old man walking by himself. I drown in my own puddle of tears after watching slightly emotional movie. “Don’t cry!” is not something unusual to be heard around me.

But I really, really like this part of me. I feel emotions strongly and vividly. I feel really alive. Well, too alive. It’s okay gurl, keep crying!! Ok but not in front of people while you’re in the middle of an argument, it’s kinda embarrassing (I know it’s so hard not to cry when somebody is yelling, let alone yelling at you!!).

Okay this might be just another #blessedwithbliss post.

Qui

Maybe it’s a tad too much to say that I feel oppressed. I feel like if I do things that I do not really want to do, the next thing that could happen is “Who?”.

It really is impossible to choose between two things you equally love, in which choosing one will hurt the other.